Ahh, your twenties. If you’re an adolescent, you’re eagerly anticipating them. If you’ve just entered them, you’re embracing the looming feeling of invincibility and boundless opportunity. If you’re past them (or close to passing them, like I am), you probably think they were more hyped up than they turned out to be.
Now, don’t let that sound discouraging. My twenties haven’t been devoid of incredible experiences and memories. Trust me, there have been plenty of those! But your twenties are also a time of self-discovery, self-esteem building, and naivete. Which means, if you’re doing it right, you will make many mistakes throughout this decade. But don’t let that deter you from living! In fact, use this time to stumble, fumble, and fall flat on your face (hopefully not in a literal sense, though no judgment whatsoever if you find yourself in such a predicament). Because that’ll save you from a lot of unnecessary strife later on.
As an almost 28-and-a-half-year-old, I’ve begun to reflect a lot on my 20s: what I’ve learned, what I’m glad I did, and what I would’ve done differently. So, if I were to give advice to my 19 years and 364- day self, here’s what I would say:
1. Travel (Especially Solo!)
The expected American life trajectory looks something like this: go to college, start working right away, take two-week vacations each year, retire at 65, and then enjoy traveling. But we’re not guaranteed good health, stable enough money, time, or even life in our 60s.
When you travel in your 20s, you’re burdened with fewer responsibilities and limitations, and you have more energy to expose yourself to new experiences. Traveling (especially solo) in your 20s can help you build confidence, shape your worldview, and teach you important skills that will serve you throughout your life. Traveling to off-the-beaten-path places and partaking in cultural exchanges abroad has introduced me to incredible people who’ve opened up my perspectives, and allowed me to see the beauty in humanity.
2. Keep In Touch With Friends
Maintaining friendships in college is easy. You see your pals daily, live within a few miles of them, and are on similar schedules. After graduation, everyone goes their separate ways, and cross-country (or even international) moves are common. All of a sudden, the people you saw regularly are time zones away. Life can get busy, and it’s easy to let weeks, months, or even years go by before you reach out to old friends.
Relationships require work, though, and friendships are no exception. Take initiative and schedule a phone call with a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, or meet up with someone if they live close enough. Time isn’t slowing down, but we can take charge of it by intentionally carving out time for the friendships that matter to us.
3. Spend More Time With Your Family
Remember in high school, when we thought our parents were uncool? It’s funny. In your 20s, you start to realize how smart, resilient, and—dare I say—cool your parents are. They’ve been through a lot more than we have, and can offer their wisdom to help you navigate the complex world of adulting. And, as much as you hate to admit it, they’re not getting any younger, so you want to savor and create memories with them.
The same goes for aunts, uncles, cousins, and other extended family members. Make an effort to stay in touch, and be present at family events and gatherings.
4. Volunteer For A Cause You Care About
Volunteering is a surefire way to make a difference in the world (no matter how small or seemingly insignificant your contributions may seem). There are always organizations in need of help— animal shelters, schools, homeless shelters, etc.— and small efforts can make substantial changes over time. Volunteering also has many benefits, including improved mental and physical health, social well-being, and life satisfaction. So devote an extra hour of your week to a cause that means a lot to you. It’ll help improve others’ quality of life, as well as your own.
5. Replace Bad Habits With Healthier Ones
When we’re in our teens and early twenties, we feel invincible. A night of binge drinking doesn’t set us back for days, and unless we have allergies or certain chronic illnesses, we can pretty much eat whatever we want.
But continuing these habits will catch up over time, and you’ll notice that your body reacts more to these things that once hardly phased you. Cutting back on drinking and eating a more balanced diet can help keep your body in better shape overall. Also, increase your water intake! It’s incredible how depleted we can feel from being dehydrated (often without realizing it), and how easy (and free) of a fix it is to simply up your water consumption.
6. Attend Meetup Events Aligned With Your Interests
Making friends after college is hard! You’re no longer spending most of your time with people of a similar age, who share your interests. But you’ll only meet new people post-college if you put yourself out there.
Meetup is great for this, especially if you live near a big city. Through Meetup, you can search for activities that interest you, and join groups based on those interests. It’ll push you out of your comfort zone if you skew introverted, but you’ll meet some interesting people that you wouldn’t have encountered otherwise.
7. Find An Exercise Routine That Works
We all know that exercise is good for us. It’s the consistency that’s difficult. That’s why it’s important to find an exercise routine that you enjoy, whether that’s walking, dancing, weightlifting, or swimming laps in the pool. Just like cutting back on drinking and incorporating healthier foods into your diet, exercising consistently in your 20s will benefit you in the long run. It’ll also help you de-stress and feel more energized.
8. Prioritize Sleep
Being on #teamnosleep was the norm back in college. In fact, it was a bragging right. But all-nighters and staying up until 4 A.M. before an 8 A.M. commitment isn’t sustainable once you’re “out in the real world.” Sleep deprivation definitely takes a greater toll on you once you reach your late 20s, and you’ll find yourself maximizing your time in bed. Sleeping sufficiently will help you feel sharp, prevent mood swings, and will help prevent a bunch of chronic diseases from happening later in life.
9. Start Saving For Retirement
I know, I know. Retirement is the last thing you want to think about. I mean, you’re only 20… Right? Well, you’d be surprised at what saving for your retirement in your 20s (versus waiting until you’re in your 30s or 40s) can compound into over time. You don’t need to make dramatic contributions each month. But be cognizant of whether you’re spending money on things you actually need. Cut back where you can, and put extra money away towards your retirement fund.
10. Learn About Money
We don’t learn how to do our taxes in school. Or what a mortgage is. (Instead, they teach us how to square dance— go figure.) So unless you were an economics major or have parents who taught you the ins and outs of money, then terms like “interest rates,” “investing,” and “passive income” overwhelm you. And that’s okay.
There are so many resources available these days to self-educate. My favorite is Minority Mindset, a YouTuber channel that breaks down hard-to-grasp concepts like inflation and real estate investing in an understandable manner. Learn as much as you can, so that down the road, you can make wise choices when it comes to big purchases and financial decisions.
11. Adopt A Skincare Routine
Are you noticing a theme here? Habits you set in place in your 20s will pay off in the long run. The same applies to skincare. As we age, our skin is inevitably prone to wrinkles and dryness, so it’s important to keep your skin (aka the largest organ in your body) fortified with moisturizing and nourishing ingredients.
There are a ton of incredible products out there, and it’s important to choose what works for your budget and preferences. But the three basic components of a good skincare routine are cleansing, moisturizing, and applying sunscreen.
12. Date
If you married your high school (or college) sweetheart, then you can ignore this one. But everyone else, I know you’re probably tired of going on dates, having other people tell you to go on dates, and thinking about going on dates. Me, too.
I won’t tell you how you should be dating— whether you opt for apps or have friends set you up— but doing so will help you get to know yourself. When you date around, you get an idea of what you’re looking for— and what absolutely does not cut it. The key to enjoying (yes, it’s possible!) dating is to go in without high expectations. If you’re set on a particular outcome from the beginning, it can stand in the way of getting to know someone and having fun. Usually, you can tell after a couple of dates if someone isn’t a right fit.
13. Go To Therapy
Even if you don’t have a mental illness or ongoing mental health problems, therapy can be very beneficial. When we go to therapy, we allow an objective outsider to point out the thoughts that hold us back (which we often don’t realize are holding us back). Our therapist can help us work through fears, practice greater self-compassion, and get over past wounds. By the very nature of being human, we all experience emotional turmoil, stress, and various life challenges. Talking them out with a licensed mental health provider can clear up your mind and allow you to be a better partner, friend, spouse, parent, employee, etc. And you’ll be more present and able to enjoy life.
14. Attend A Music Festival
Music festivals have a surreal vibe. You’re surrounded by fellow music enthusiasts, rockin’ out to your favorite songs, and everyone is in a pleasant mood. These festivals also make you feel present, and though you’ll be exhausted by the end, they allow you to reintegrate into your life feeling renewed.
Though there’s no age limit on when you can stop attending music festivals, they’re much more doable in your early 20s. Especially since they often involve less-than-comfortable sleeping arrangements, tons and tons of walking, and constant stimulation. So splurge on the chance to go Outside Lands. Or Coachella. And bask in the magic of music and joy that surrounds you.
15. Do Something That Terrifies You
Have you ever wanted to go skydiving? Bunjee jumping? Do you want to hike Mount Everest? Go for it!
When we accomplish things that scare us, they can be a huge confidence boost. Not only are we proving to ourselves that we can achieve the impossible, but we come out of the experience feeling so much stronger. Staying in your comfort zone won’t lead to growth (or a good story), so push yourself every now and then, and be amazed at what you can do!
16. Adopt A Pet
Pets shower you with unconditional love. There’s nothing like coming home to your dog jumping up and down, excited to see you. Or savoring much-needed cuddles with your furry friend after a long day. Though pets are a responsibility, they’re obviously less work than having a child, and can still offer you a sense of companionship and support. Adopting my dog, Prem, has made my 20s so much more fulfilling, and I love all of the memories we’ve made together.
17. Live Somewhere New
When you’re in your 20s, you’re blessed with relatively few responsibilities. No kids, no mortgage, no pressing matters that tether you to a specific place. So, why not take this as a chance to base yourself from a new city for a while? Always wanted to live in NYC? Paris? Singapore? Do it! You’ll be amazed at what pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and surrounding yourself with unfamiliar cultures will do. It’ll allow you to return home with a broader perspective and gratitude for allowing yourself to explore the unknown.
18. Keep Up With Medical Appointments
When we were younger, our parents scheduled all of our doctor’s appointments for us. All we had to do was show up. Things get complicated in your 20s, though. In the U.S., most people are kicked off of their parents’ insurance at 26, and parents will probably expect you to schedule your own checkups. Keep a folder and calendar record of all of your medical visits and documents, and set a reminder when it’s time for your next dental exam or annual physical. Nowadays, many offices will even call and remind you!
19. Implement More Self-Care Into Your Life
Self-care is somewhat of a buzzword these days. But taking care of yourself shouldn’t be a passing trend, it should be a way of life. I think our hustle culture, rat race-oriented society has done an excellent job of making us feel guilty for slowing down and carving out space for our own needs. But with all of the stimulation and turmoil we deal with daily, self-care is absolutely essential. Unplug from social media for a weekend. Treat yourself to a massage. Hop into a bubble bath at the end of the day. Give yourself love and space to decompress, and don’t feel any guilt about it.
20. Develop Healthy Boundaries
Do you have a hard time saying “No?” Are you a people-pleaser? Do you find others constantly pushing your limits? If so, you’re not alone. This just means healthier boundaries need to be in place. When I learned to say “No” to more things (even if that meant short-term guilt or FOMO), I felt a lot less drained in the long run. And furthermore, when I learned I wasn’t responsible for anyone’s feelings but my own, that absolved me from a lot of the unnecessary burdens I placed on myself to keep others happy at the expense of my own comfort.
Healthy boundaries in your 20s have SO many benefits, but they’ll definitely help you focus on what’s best for you.
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Those are my top must-dos! As you can tell, they have a theme of being proactive for the future, while also making the most of the present (so say yes to that music festival or chance to go hot air ballooning). Your twenties are a time of growth, experimenting, and setting yourself up for future success. Learn from your mistakes, refine what works well, and savor the once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Hopefully, you’ll reflect back on them with fondness and greater self-awareness!